Hello all I only made two new Year’s resolutions this year and they are to help everyone I can to find a partner and to answer more of your questions about relationships.

In both of these endeavours I am going to need your help, the first resolution to find you a partner will require your help and the second requires your questions, so let’s get started and make 2010 the “Year of the Successful Relationship.”

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Partner, Relationships, Successful Relationships, New Year’s Resolution

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It is good to see that some Speed Dating companies care about their clients more than others, though in my opinion they only care about their clients cash, like the people at Speed Dating Events and I would like to thank them for their comment on my blog about Speed Dating which describes why I think that Speed dating is a terrible way to find a partner. The comment, if you want to read it, appeared on the www.easilyfriends.com website.

However in spite of their comment, I haven’t change my mind and my point remains and that is because not all Speed Dating is either well organised or well thought out.

I still maintain that you are never going to find someone to develop a long term relationship with when you are hustled from one quick chat to the next, even in a nice venue with careful professional staff in attendance.

And just quickly on the subject of venues Speed Dating event companies tend to use smelly, dirty and outdated public houses to arrange their ‘quicky’ events! Am I the only person in the world who hates pubs because they are not nice places? Thank goodness no, because I read everyday of another town or village pub closing.

The best you can hope for from a Speed Dating event is to fill your Filofax with cards and numbers from people you know you won’t call because you won’t remember who they were and of course they won’t ring for the same reason.

Really, the only thing you can expect to get out of a speed dating event is to get back into the swing of talking to people in a social situation, frankly I would choose the bus, or better still if you want an evening out go to the theatre or the ballet and in the interval find people to chat to.

As I have said before, if you talk to people even if they are in a relationship it is very likely that they will have friends like you who are looking for a relationship, but of course, first of all they are looking for a date and importantly so are you!

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Comment, Dating, Public Houses, Pubs, Relationship, Speed Dating, Theatre, Filofax

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It is true to say tat we are all looking for something different from a relationship and that is because we are all so very different that is the complex beauty of the human race.

But there are some things that we should look for in a relationship that are constant and common to all humans of both sexes and they are;

We should always respect our partner and never even consider violence towards one another. It is impossible to add that we should never lose our temper with our partner because it is in our nature. But if you can remember that you might be losing your temper with the wrong person – your partner who is just an innocent bystander. Always try to think before you let your anger out.

If you do this then you will be also doing something that I personally believe is a key to a happy relationship and that is always treat your partner in a way that you would like to be treated.

It goes, almost, without saying that you should chat to your partner, tell them what makes you happy, then what makes you sad and then of course what gets under your skin. You’ll discover that you feel better and your partner will enjoy sharing and of course at a later date the opportunity to do the same to you, to chat and share.

One thing that I have found in the years that I have been around is that not only do relationship flourish when you are sharing they also bloom when you give your partner a little bit of privacy, some quiet time, to do what they want.

That may be a hobby, a walk with the dog or anything and you should always give your partner that space and freedom, yes it is true that we all need different things but there are only a very few humans who want to be completely isolated even if they say they do.

There is so much more to say on this subject and that happily is why I have a blog, but finally for today always remember that there are two people in a relationship and that they both need to be engaged in making the relationship work, if one isn’t pulling his or her weight then he or she needs to be reminded that a relationship is a precious thing and like all precious things it isn’t difficult to break them.

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It is easy to wrong almost before begin when you are building a relationship and that is usually because of ‘personalities.’

Sometimes it is because people carry emotional ‘baggage’ from one relationship to another and that baggage just gets heavier and heavier and drags you down, other times it is because you decide that this time ‘you’ are going be a different person and that is something we humans can’t do just like leopards we are unable to change our spots.

Other times we begin a relationship with the intention to change our partner, to my way of thinking if you want to change some of the characteristics or behaviour of your partner you may as well cut out the agony that you will both suffer and leave them well alone now.

But if you can leave the baggage behind, not be so arrogant to believe that you can ‘change’ someone then you have a real chance of building a relationship.

By far and away the best way to build a relationship is to take things at a pace that you are both happy with, always remember that a relationship contains two people and although you may want to move in together tomorrow your partner may have reservations and want time to adjust to his or her new situation.

Gardeners and builders know about getting the foundations right, if you want to grow wonderful flowers you prepare your soil well and if you want to build a house that will last for centuries you get the footing right and the same is true of building a relationship. The happier, more trusting and comfortable both of you are with each other the more solid the foundation for your future.

There are a lot of things to sort out before you move in together of course but you both need to sit down and work out what it is you want and then go for it.

Always remember that if you have a happy relationship you are one of the lucky few, not every couple can without thinking or referring to each other say that they are happy. But it you work at it you will always be building upon the firm foundations that you created originally and that means that when asked if you are happy together you will both say yes without even having to pause for a moment and that is wonderful.

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