You don’t have to spend your days on holiday, the lap of luxury or indeed have any of the trappings of the rich to have a relationship that will last forever.

Money, fine things, the mortgage paid off etc., help as does a good job and a secure future, but to be absolutely honest you don’t need money to love someone, in fact that practice I believe is called the “oldest profession in the world.”

Which is why it is a shame that so many people these days seem to think that the only way to happiness in any form is through riches, it isn’t. If you talk to couples who have been together for a long time they will, if you know them well enough talk about the times when they didn’t have two pennies to rub together and of course laugh about it.

If you worry more about the fact that your next partner might not have two pennies to rub together than whether he or she is kind, caring and loving, then your next relationship and the ones that follow will be a chain of disasters.

Try to think beyond the flat screen TV, a car that is less than two years old and all of the other rubbish that is so short term, if you want a relationship that lasts and will last forever then you have to think about things that won’t wear out like love, kindliness, caring and to be honest the things that make a relationship last.

So even if you are poor by others crazy standards you can walk off into the sunset together but it might not be a Caribbean one, but if you are both happy walking off into a Caribbean sunset would just be the icing on the Diamond Anniversary Cake wouldn’t it.

Technorati Tags:
Happiness, Relationship, Relationships, Caribbean, Forever, caring, Kind, Loving, Caring

Are you single and have been for a while now? If so it is entirely possible that you have started to wonder if you will every get a partner and form a long lasting relationship and when that happens you start to think that maybe dating is not the answer and should you even bother?

Well take heart and think about this for a moment. If there was some sort of supreme being and he or more likely she made all of the decisions and with the benefit of his or her amazing intelligence pair us all up based on how well we would get on, what colour our eyes were, what we liked and so on would that work or would he or she make mistakes, some of the cleverest things in the world like say for instance computers make mistakes just take the Lotto computer it must make mistakes because it has never chosen me.

Without dating and happily dating websites such as www.easilyfriends.com we wouldn’t have the fun of finding the person we rather like the look of, chatting to them, going on a date and slowly over a period of time discovering that we really like this person, surely dating is much better than being paired off just because we appear to be compatible.

Isn’t it a good job that we are human because sometimes the people we end up with are nothing like the stereotypes that computers suggest, which of course is why dating sites like www.easilyfriends.com are so much better than dating agencies who favour computer dating, computers should only date themselves shouldn’t they?

Technorati Tags:
Date, Dating, Relationship, Computer Dating, Successful Dating, Get a Date

Whether you are in a relationship or looking for one, I suggest that you make 2010 a new beginning and that is because there is nothing more exciting for couples than to do different things and surprise each other, with flowers, treats and of course in the bedroom.

If you aren’t in a relationship and sadly I know that a lot of my readers both men and women have yet to find that special partner who is out there waiting to complete their life, it is time to look at yourself.

Think about the people you meet, on dates, casually and in general, try and analyse what you like about them and then compare that to your ‘ideal’ person.

We all have ‘idea’ people and of course because they are imaginary we endow them with all sorts of attributes and talents, but sometimes we might be guilty of imagining that our perfect partner who we have carefully constructed exists, they don’t, they never have and frankly they never will.

We all have deficiencies, are capable of annoying ourselves with our little ways let alone our partners so no one can be perfect can they.

So think about what you liked in the people you have met recently and try to create a ‘perfect’ partner who is a little more realistic and you never know you may actually have met him or her already, you just didn’t know it yet.

Write to me with your thoughts you can find me here most days www.easilyfriends.com.

Let’s make 2010 a new beginning for everyone and then we’ll all be happier at the end of the year!

Technorati Tags:
Dating, Relationship, 2010, Perfect

First I would like to say that I hope that you are not going to be alone this Holiday Season, there is not much worse than tat, and I promise you I know, I have been there and although it was a long while ago now I still remember the loneliness, the talking to yourself and the wondering whether you should bother to cook for one.

Honestly I promise that together you and I ad of course www.easilyfriends.com will do something positive about you being alone soon, that is of course if you have joined up to www.easilyfriends.com it is free and easy to use and will never charge you anything.

It is the fact that www.easilyfriends.com is free that I like it they want to help you and not help themselves to your hard earned cash.

So we are nearly into another year and after the fireworks have faded and the parties finished you will have a whole new year to focus on and we are going to find you a partner and turn your friendship into a relationship.

A lot of people have recently written to me asking the where I think the best place to meet a new friend would be and I have to say now after all of the information that has been passed to me from the people at www.easilyfriends.com I have to say that the internet is probably taking over as the place to meet people of both genders.

Obviously you have to be careful who you talk to but meeting someone on the internet is like meeting someone on a train or in a bar, what do you really know about them? Not much is the answer. Ok you’ll say at least in a bar or on a train you will be able to see the person you are talking to but have you heard of skype and webcams yet?

Webcams are very handy and you can use them to have a face to face conversation with anyone anywhere and of course skype is like www.easilyfriends.com free to use which is great.

So I would like to suggest that if you are at a loose end this Christmas and New Year that you get yourself online, treat yourself to a webcam and a free copy of skype and get chatting to people.

And of course unless the person is in an internet café then you will be able to get to know more about him or her just by listening to the surrounding noise if there are children ask if they belong to the person you are talking to, if there is anything sinister or odd about the room the person is talking to you from then they might be the same and you will get to know much sooner than if you met this person in the street, in a bar or on a train.

Use technology to get a date and when you are on the date use the same safeguards you always use a lot of people are doing that these days.

Happy Christmas to all my readers.

Abigail

Technorati Tags:
Christmas, dating websites, easilyfriends.com, Relationship, Research, Partner, Skype, Webcam

Actually that is probably the wrong headline for today’s article because I was going to start this article by saying that I thought I would give you a day off from percentages and suggestions and I mean, to I promise!

On a Tuesday I usually spend some time looking at dating sites, dating blogs and indeed all things dating, to see what my competition is doing and I have to say that I think that most of them have missed the fact that this is the season of goodwill to all, including ‘men.’

What is wrong with my fellow female dating ‘experts?’ Why do they seem to hate men so much? Really the number of dating blogs with the word ‘bastard’ in is just frankly astonishing and to make matters worse the word that follows ‘bastard’ is men!

Come on ladies please give men a break, unless you are considering either living as a celibate or as a lesbian, we sort of need men, and if you don’t, then the rest of us do and that means that we have to stop putting men down and worse calling them names. Please try to remember we are grown women and not in the second or third grade.

Men are not all bad you know! If you have had a bad one then I am sorry for you, but you are/were unlucky because for every bad man you have known there is a bad woman as well.

Which leads me to the real point of this blog. Try to remember why we seek the company of a partner, we do it because it makes us feel better basically, no other reason. If someone is not very nice they will demonstrate that side of their character and you should get rid of him or of course her. But never give up hope there is someone out there for you, you just haven’t found them yet.

And remember that labelling all men or indeed women as bitches or bastards does no one any good, all men and women aren’t bitches or bastards, they are simply your potential partners.

Technorati Tags:
Dating, Relationship, Research, Bastards, Bitches

In a world that recently has shown itself to be a place full of corruption, greed and stupidity it is important to remember that if you want to build a stable long term relationship with a partner you should do the opposite of American, Arab and European bankers and businessmen and be generous and honest.

Just look where greed, stupidity and corruption have got them? Nowhere yet like the children from a bad marriage it is us the poor people in the street that suffer because we bear the cost for the actions of the greedy idiots.

So it you want to have a relationship that lasts first try to be generous and kind yourself and then find someone who thinks the same. Both of you may not ever be the richest people in the world but you will be among a very select few who are the happiest.

Technorati Tags:
Bankers, Relationship, American, Arab, European, Generous, Happiest

It is good to see that some Speed Dating companies care about their clients more than others, though in my opinion they only care about their clients cash, like the people at Speed Dating Events and I would like to thank them for their comment on my blog about Speed Dating which describes why I think that Speed dating is a terrible way to find a partner. The comment, if you want to read it, appeared on the www.easilyfriends.com website.

However in spite of their comment, I haven’t change my mind and my point remains and that is because not all Speed Dating is either well organised or well thought out.

I still maintain that you are never going to find someone to develop a long term relationship with when you are hustled from one quick chat to the next, even in a nice venue with careful professional staff in attendance.

And just quickly on the subject of venues Speed Dating event companies tend to use smelly, dirty and outdated public houses to arrange their ‘quicky’ events! Am I the only person in the world who hates pubs because they are not nice places? Thank goodness no, because I read everyday of another town or village pub closing.

The best you can hope for from a Speed Dating event is to fill your Filofax with cards and numbers from people you know you won’t call because you won’t remember who they were and of course they won’t ring for the same reason.

Really, the only thing you can expect to get out of a speed dating event is to get back into the swing of talking to people in a social situation, frankly I would choose the bus, or better still if you want an evening out go to the theatre or the ballet and in the interval find people to chat to.

As I have said before, if you talk to people even if they are in a relationship it is very likely that they will have friends like you who are looking for a relationship, but of course, first of all they are looking for a date and importantly so are you!

Technorati Tags:
Comment, Dating, Public Houses, Pubs, Relationship, Speed Dating, Theatre, Filofax

It is true to say tat we are all looking for something different from a relationship and that is because we are all so very different that is the complex beauty of the human race.

But there are some things that we should look for in a relationship that are constant and common to all humans of both sexes and they are;

We should always respect our partner and never even consider violence towards one another. It is impossible to add that we should never lose our temper with our partner because it is in our nature. But if you can remember that you might be losing your temper with the wrong person – your partner who is just an innocent bystander. Always try to think before you let your anger out.

If you do this then you will be also doing something that I personally believe is a key to a happy relationship and that is always treat your partner in a way that you would like to be treated.

It goes, almost, without saying that you should chat to your partner, tell them what makes you happy, then what makes you sad and then of course what gets under your skin. You’ll discover that you feel better and your partner will enjoy sharing and of course at a later date the opportunity to do the same to you, to chat and share.

One thing that I have found in the years that I have been around is that not only do relationship flourish when you are sharing they also bloom when you give your partner a little bit of privacy, some quiet time, to do what they want.

That may be a hobby, a walk with the dog or anything and you should always give your partner that space and freedom, yes it is true that we all need different things but there are only a very few humans who want to be completely isolated even if they say they do.

There is so much more to say on this subject and that happily is why I have a blog, but finally for today always remember that there are two people in a relationship and that they both need to be engaged in making the relationship work, if one isn’t pulling his or her weight then he or she needs to be reminded that a relationship is a precious thing and like all precious things it isn’t difficult to break them.

There is no need to be alone these days honestly. Believe it or not even today there are so many ways to find someone who could become your partner. One of the very best ways to find a special someone is to talk to people you see everyday.

Sadly our society has painted us into a corner because we are worried about ‘strangers’ and so we walk along the street with our heads down, sit on public transport avoiding eye contact with our fellow passengers and keep ourselves very much to ourselves and that I am afraid is a recipe for loneliness.

But that is daft because if we have a daily routine and that is probably 90% of us we encounter people everyday, nice people who are probably lonely as well and as painted into their corners as we are.

So surely it is really silly to sit at home alone when in your street let alone your town there are probably dozens of people doing the self same thing.

Tomorrow when you are walking down the street or you are on the bus or you are wherever your daily routine takes you and you see someone you have seen before smile at them, you’ll probably get a smile back.

Then the next day when you see them again do the same, after a week the person you are smiling at will probably be looking out for you so that they can smile back at you when you smile at them and that is because we humans are social animals and we enjoy contact with other members of or species.

The next step is to say hello, and soon after that maybe you will be stopping for a chat, this sort of sociable behaviour can be directed to both members of the opposite sex and to members of your own sex too and that is because you are just being socialble.

With men it is more likely to start chatting if they are at a football game or in a bar but the same logic of just chatting applies.

By chatting to members of the opposite sex you are increasing your chances of striking up a friendship or relationship and by talking to a members of the same sex you are simply widening your group of contacts.

Isn’t it true that almost all of us know someone who is on their own and it is likely that you will be introduced to them at some time down the line or be introducing someone to a friend of the person you now know who is alone.

The simple truth is that unless you talk to people and interact with them you will become more and more isolated and when you feel isolated and alone you don’t feel like talking to anyone and so you are caught in a cycle of unhappiness.

Don’t you agree that the price of getting rid of your unhappiness is worth a smile and then a hello? I do, but then I do talk to a lot of people when I am out.

After the first hello you can chat about anything, from the weather to the price of Sugar it doesn’t matter, the person you smiled at will know that you aren’t a threat and vice versa and at some stage they will feel comfortable enough to suggest a coffee or something.

So smile at someone tomorrow just for me! Because there is no reason for any of us to be alone and victims of the society we live in today and stay painted into a corner.

It is easy to wrong almost before begin when you are building a relationship and that is usually because of ‘personalities.’

Sometimes it is because people carry emotional ‘baggage’ from one relationship to another and that baggage just gets heavier and heavier and drags you down, other times it is because you decide that this time ‘you’ are going be a different person and that is something we humans can’t do just like leopards we are unable to change our spots.

Other times we begin a relationship with the intention to change our partner, to my way of thinking if you want to change some of the characteristics or behaviour of your partner you may as well cut out the agony that you will both suffer and leave them well alone now.

But if you can leave the baggage behind, not be so arrogant to believe that you can ‘change’ someone then you have a real chance of building a relationship.

By far and away the best way to build a relationship is to take things at a pace that you are both happy with, always remember that a relationship contains two people and although you may want to move in together tomorrow your partner may have reservations and want time to adjust to his or her new situation.

Gardeners and builders know about getting the foundations right, if you want to grow wonderful flowers you prepare your soil well and if you want to build a house that will last for centuries you get the footing right and the same is true of building a relationship. The happier, more trusting and comfortable both of you are with each other the more solid the foundation for your future.

There are a lot of things to sort out before you move in together of course but you both need to sit down and work out what it is you want and then go for it.

Always remember that if you have a happy relationship you are one of the lucky few, not every couple can without thinking or referring to each other say that they are happy. But it you work at it you will always be building upon the firm foundations that you created originally and that means that when asked if you are happy together you will both say yes without even having to pause for a moment and that is wonderful.